CONTAINS CONTENT:
Brief language, difficult topics, sensual talk.
{{Unedited}}
Out of the shower, after towel drying her hair and dressing into fresh clothes, she went into Austin’s room to find him sitting on the bed writing in a journal. She cocked her head at him, curiously.
He smiled at her, snapped it shut, and slipped it onto the bookshelf. It hadn’t been there before; she was sure of it. It was a bright red and the other journals were black, brown, and teal; this was one that he’d brought with him. The color screamed one thing at her; this was a journal for her. Not for her specifically, but for his thoughts about her. Her skin immediately tingled, needing to know what was in there.
“Hungry?” he asked with a smile and she was wondering if it was a loaded question.
“I’m actually pretty hungry, yeah. I think that long trips do that to you.”
“Okay, well, I’m going to order some food for everyone,” he explained and he moved downstairs with her on his heels as he pulled his phone from his pocket and called the local take out.
About forty-five minutes later, food arrived, and Austin, Marielle, Rick, and Tiffany sat around the table in the dining room talking about life and telling some funny stories to embarrass Austin. Austin was strangely calm, taking all the teasing from them as he flashed her a look and poked at the last two pieces of orange chicken on his plate with his wooden chopsticks. She could read his expression as they prattled on about him misusing words when he first learned English and how that got them into a lot of weird social situations.
-I’m not embarrassed. You know me so well that none of this is embarrassing to me.
After some talk between the boys about a particular football team, Rick leaned back and pat his stomach, obviously trying to cover a belch. “Son, go chop some firewood, I want to start that fireplace up, you know?” Rick gestured at the fireplace with his head. “I think it’ll be nice tonight.”
Austin stood, taking his plate to the kitchen, and coming back long enough to squeeze Marielle’s shoulders. -You’ll be okay. He said as he leaned into her left ear a little.
Tiffany poured them some sweet white wine and gave Marielle a smile that assured her that everything would be fine.
Rick pointed at Marielle and she shrugged, “You two are in love,” he said bluntly.
Her face grew hot and she looked down into her lap, “Is it that obvious?”
He grinned, “I ain’t never seen Aussie in love, you know, but that’s it if I ever saw it.”
“You never saw Erin?”
“He wasn’t in love with Erin,” Tiffany interjected taking a sip of the wine she’d poured. “He liked her, but he didn’t know what love was at the time.”
Rick pointed to Tiffany, “That’s it, that’s it right there,” he said with a strong nod.
Marielle couldn’t stop from grinning. “Okay, you’re cornering me here, to tell me what?” she asked, her cheeks red and puffy. She took a sip from her glass.
“That he loves you.”
“Did he ask you to do all of this?”
Rick shook his head. “No.”
“No.” Tiffany added.
Rick leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, examining Marielle. “Yo, Tiffy, why don’t you go and put on some coffee. I think Aussie would like some coffee; you know? When he comes in, it’s cold and all.”
“Our son doesn’t get cold,” Tiffany reminded, but she acquiesced. She went to the kitchen, plate in hand.
There was a pause and Marielle knew that Rick was going to launch into a sermon and that she’d better listen for a variety of reasons.
“He’s a good kid, you know? Good kid. Honest, always very honest. I don’t know where he learned that. Didn’t learn it from me or none of that… I did my best, you know? Always been a good kid, though. He’s just- he’s got that problem, you know? That one that’s keeping you from him,” Marielle tried to hide a smile that was full of embarrassment, “No, you don’t think it’s obvious, it is, kid. I see it. I was trained in all of that stuff, too. That’s love in your eyes if I ever saw it.” She looked away, tucking her bottom lip in. “Yeah, but he got that problem, though,” Rick rubbed his bottom lip for a moment. “I had that same problem, you know?”
Marielle leaned forward in interest. “You did?”
“Sure did, that’s how I found him. I was in Turin, following this young guy- assignment, you know? And I go see this prostitute one night and I don’t expect there to be a kid there, you know? I find Austin and he’s just a kid; Just this skinny little waif. I ask him if he wants to get out of there. Kid comes home with me; I fudge it over with the government. He’s my son, you know? Eh… people change, you know? I did.” He reached across the table and took a fortune cookie.
“You did?” She asked for the second time.
“Course I did, look at what I got, you know? I was forty-five-ish. Yeah, here I was forty-five-ish,” he winked at her, patting his chest. “I’m running around, never married, seen a lot of women, you know? And what am I gonna do? I’m forty-five, and here God gives me a son. I always wanted a son, you know? But ain’t got no woman, I’m a player, and here God gives me this son, and says you take care of him.” He shook his head. “And I’m like what am I gonna do with a son, you know? I don’t know nothing about being no father, my old man was distant, and left when I was ten. What do I know about bein’ a father? But Aussie, man… he was a good kid. Always been a good kid. Handsome, anyone could see that from ten miles away. Taught him English best I could, you know? But here I am, new father to an abused son. I’m in church, you know? That’s where I meet Tiff.” He gestured to the kitchen with his head as he took the plastic off of the cookie. “It was something that she told me; you know? She was in the middle of converting herself and was with some other guy, right? She dumps him and she’s all about forgiveness- tells me one day, I like you, Rick, you know? You want to be with me. Now, I like you, Rick. I wanna be with you, and you wanna be with me. She says, they can have your past. But the future- that’s ours. She says ain’t nothin’ can touch our future. Now, you bug out on me, and I’m out. Okay? But she says the future if you say yes? That future is ours and ours alone. That’s you and me.” Rick lifted his hand and swiped it across the air as if wiping a slate clean. “They can have your past. But the future is you and me. And that’s what she told me. And, I never cheated on her, never once, I promised her that. Never once, you know? She’s a good woman. I wanted a good woman for Aussie. She is; beautiful, lovely woman. She’s been good to me, she been good to Aussie. We did our best with him, you know? He was a tough kid to raise. You come home, he’s got some girl in the closet, or halfway out the back door. It is what it is, you know? I did that shit,” he said with a shrug. “We all do, you know? You’re young. Your past is your past. People change sometimes. I been to church- I seen playboys turn into married men with six children; they go to work, and come home. They ain’t tempted by no blonde or brunette, you know what I mean?”
Marielle nodded. There was silence for a moment as she took a sip. “We have – like –a really deep connection,” she said with a swallow. “Like…we can hear each other’s thoughts.”
He pointed at her. “That’s what was going on just there.” He motioned like he understood what Austin was doing when he squeezed Marielle’s shoulders. She nodded. “You know what? That, I believe. You know why I believe it? Because the first time I looked at you two, I thought these two look like twins… but it’s more than the looks, you see, it’s something in your spirit- because you don’t look just like him. Obviously, you’re from different places, you know? But the thing is that somehow you look like each other and it’s because you’re sharing something with each other, something that ain’t nobody else on this planet got.”
Marielle drummed the table for a few moments in silence, she glanced back at Tiffany who was dutifully washing some dishes. “Do you really think that he can change?”
“I think anyone can change, the question is do they really want to? Does he want to? I think he does for you, and now maybe for himself.” He broke the fortune cookie open. “You know, we’re not supposed to have contact while he’s one a job, but I talk to him every once in a while. He’s my son, you know? So, you didn’t hear that from me.” She shook her head, assuring him. “But I give him a call about once a week, okay? And all he talks about is you and how much he wants to be good for you. He wants to change. He wants you to love him. I think you do love him; you know? I’m not even gonna use the word think, you do love him. You look at him like you guys were born with your spirits wrapped around each other, it’s just the way it is. And I know you got this situation with this other guy, I get it. Tiff was seeing another guy when we met, too. I wanted someone to help me raise my son. I wanted to be a good man.” Her ears perked. She’d heard that phrase before. “Aussie wants to be a good man.”
She processed, but her mind kept coming back to Aussie. “Why do you guys call him Aussie,” she chuckled.
Rick waved a dismissive hand in the air. “It’s kid’s stuff… Kid wanted to keep his name. You rename orphans and stuff when they’re like two or three years old, you don’t rename an eleven-year-old, you know? His name’s Austin Rancor, what are you gonna do, you know? So, I’m Rick Moretti, my wife’s Tiffany and we got a son named Austin,” he chuckled. “Always wanted to keep his name- I don’t know. I think you should ask him about that, cause I asked him one time, why you wanna keep your name? He told me, but I think that’s his story to tell you. So, why am I telling you all this? Why? Well, it’s because I’m just tellin’ you, I ain’t never seen Aussie so happy as when he’s with you. He ain’t never brought a girl home, you know? Well, I mean, he’s brought girls home, but I’m talking about for family or a holiday or any of that jazz. And he ain’t never looked at any of them the way he looked at you through all of dinner, you know?” Her cheeks reddened. “You know, he’s eyeballin’ you, and it ain’t like you’re a piece of meat, or a conquest, you know? He’s lookin’ at you like you’re everything in the world to him. He’s in love, and he doesn’t know what to do with it.” He finally cracked the fortune cookie open and set the little note aside. “I didn’t either, you know? What do you do with love? You spend your whole life bein’ a playboy- think you’re some kinda superstar then all the sudden, what hits you? Love. And you didn’t even know that you wanted this. It blindsides you- puts you in a slow field, it traps you, it puts you in some handcuffs that you can’t get out of. You ain’t got the key, okay? He’s cryin’, you know how often this kid cries? Never, cried like a few times in his life. Kid cried when we put the first cat down, kid cried when some punk started beatin’ on him at school, you know? Now, now,” Rick raised a finger as if testifying, “ain’t no one ever lay a hand on my Aussie again, you better believe me that one right there.”
“I know,” Marielle said looking distant.
“You’ve seen what he can do.” She nodded, terrified. “Was one of the first times that I ever realized that he was gonna be good in this business. Kid comes home crying, black eye, I said son you get yourself up over here and let me show you a thing or two. So, I teach him to defend himself, sets that other kid’s jaw straight the next day, and who do you think comes out on top? Aussie. Aussie flat out breaks his nose- principal drags him into the office, me too says your kid broke that boy’s nose, I say good. Ain’t no one ever laying a finger on my son again. Not after Turin, you know? Someone gonna lay hands on my son, that’s what’s gonna happen, you know? Whether it’s him, me, or God Himself, ain’t no one gonna lay hands on my son again. He gets knocked down the first time, he ain’t ever getting laid out again…so, that’s where it started, you know? He’s a good kid, good at his job, man. So good at his job,” Rick drifted proudly for a moment. “But we all make mistakes, Marielle. Were you ever with a man, and at the time you thought nothing of it, but then later on you met someone, or broke with the guy and only when it meant something did you regret all of your decisions? That- see, I see the look on your face right now, see? We were all young, and we all made mistakes. We all thought that we knew what we wanted, but we had no idea. And you didn’t think about it at the time because it didn’t matter to you then. Suddenly something changed or shifted and then it mattered, right?” She nodded. “There is no such thing as no regrets– if you regret something, then you regret it.” He lifted a finger and pointed at her. “You don’t have to feel the guilt, but that don’t mean that you don’t regret it. Regretting it makes it so you don’t do the same thing again, you know what I mean? Anyway…” He waved a hand dismissively in the air, “you love him. I can see that, it’s all in your face and your eyes and your smile. You love him. Maybe you oughta think about rollin’ with that?”
“I am, trust me… it’s a work in progress.”
“Yeah, keep thinkin’ about it, because I can easily see you two together for the rest of your lives. I can see you with children, and old. I think he can, too.”
“He’s shown me that family,” Marielle cut in. Rick cocked his head at her, curiously. “We can uh… we can put images in each other’s heads.” She gestured to the side of her head while simultaneously making an incredulous expression.
Rick shook his head, “It’s incredible, you know? Who can do that? My power?” he shrugged and looked up, “it ain’t nothing compared to that.”
“You’re altered?”
“I work for the United States government, of course I’m altered,” Rick chuckled. Then he winked at her. “But I can’t say nothin’ more.” She nodded her understanding. “He told me once that he thought that you two were the most intimate people in the world, you are!” Rick insisted. “Ain’t nobody can do that! What you have? Man! He can’t get that out of sex… nobody can. You can’t either, you know that, you’re with this other guy, you know that. It’s just possible, Marielle that God put you two together to save each other. Now, I don’t mean in the biblical sense- you’re not each other’s saviors. What I mean is that maybe you are better together than you are apart, you know? Maybe you do something for each other that will boost and bolster you into the kind of people that you’re meant to be.”
Marielle drummed her lip. “You’re like…really smart.”
“Yeah, well,-” Rick feigned humility, “-Aussie always seemed to think so.” Rick continued patting his chest. “He changed me, you know? Kids change you.”
“He did?” Marielle knit her eyebrows together in thought. “Yes, Ma’am, I’m thinkin’ here I am, you know, middle aged, got a kid now. I cleaned up, you know? Got myself back to church, got my life together. I wanted to give everything that I could to this kid because I didn’t have much, you know? What kind of life did I have? I always sort of regretted dragging him into government business, but it was all I knew, you know?”
“No, don’t blame yourself for that. It was good that you did it. Your son saved my life.”
“It’s a life worth saving,” Rick replied concretely. “I’mma be straight with you… I would want you for my Aussie. I would want him to change for you.”
“No, he has to change for himself.”
“Now, that much is true,-” he pointed at her, “-but listen to me, missy… love is as strong a motivator as any.”
She felt her chest deflate. “I know,” she whispered.
“Anything could happen.”
Austin walked in with two giant logs in fragments under his arms, and white flakes dusting his shoulders. His cheeks were rosy, as was the tip of his nose, and the way that she smiled at him caused him to beam right back at her as he dropped the wood next to the fireplace. “Guess what? It’s snowing,” he said with a large, boyish grin.
“I’ll join you in a minute,” Marielle said quietly.
“Can’t wait.”
Austin went back out and came back moments later with two more logs. “You want em’ on the fire, dad?”
“Sure, kid, sure,” Rick said taking a sip from his wine glass.
Austin obeyed with one of the larger ones and after giving his hands a good rub together, he went back outside. “Kid can stay in the ice and cold for hours. Did he ever tell you about the time that we thought he’d frozen to death?”
Her eyes widened and she cocked her head to the side. “No!”
Rick chuckled and patted his chest. “Let me tell you, that kid… he goes out there one night to sit at that bonfire, and falls asleep and he did this after we were in bed, you know? It snows in the night, Tiff and I run out there yellin’- thinking he’s dead, or got pneumonia… nah, he opens his big blue eyes, dusts some snow off his head and says, yeah guys?” He bellowed.
Marielle laughed. “Thank you for your kindness… and dinner,” she explained, standing.
“Of course,” he replied, with a nod.
Marielle put her scarf around her neck and went through the hall to the back door where she could see Austin in the back. He was sitting on the arm of one of the wooden chairs that sat around a bonfire pit with his hands in his pockets. He was singing let it snow.
She smiled and came out toward the end of the song. He looked to her and grinned like a little boy, finishing his solo serenade. “Want to make a snow angel, darling?”
She glanced around, it wasn’t snowing too hard, the ground wasn’t covered. “If we get enough, I’ll make snow angels with you,” she giggled. Oh no, the giggling was back.
“So, what did dad say?”
“That you’re amazing? Changed his life?”
“Oh yeah, all that. I mean, it’s me… I am a life changer,” he teased.
She cackled. “Yes, Austin Rancor, you are.” She sat in one of the chairs. “He just told me a little about finding you, and adopting you, and how he wished that he could give you a better life.”
“Yeah, he always wished he could have done better for me.” He shrugged his left shoulder. “He taught me what he knew.”
“He loves you.”
“He gave me the father and mother that I never had,” Austin explained.
She looked at the firepit with a diminutive smile. “Aussie, though…”
“Hush about that, you brat,” he said with a smirk.
“Or what?” she dared.
He grinned and moved toward her like he was going to pounce and before either of them knew it, he was tickling her and they were falling onto the ground and laughing together. Tumbling, she gained the upper hand, although she was pretty sure that he had let her do it, but this ended up with them in a compromising position. She was straddling his mid-section now, and he was staring up at her, both lost in heavy white breaths as their laughs quieted.
After a moment that became serious, Austin lifted his hand to tuck some hair behind her ear. She stopped him with her own, and he nodded, but she flinched as if he’d touched her. The weird thing was that he was pretty sure that he had.
Both narrowed their eyes at one another inquisitively. -Did you touch me?
-Yes… but no? Trembling, Austin took his hand away from hers and kept it about four inches back from her face, but as if stroking her, he put his fingertips to her forehead in his mind’s eye and dragged them slowly down her face; over the bridge of her nose, to the tip, then down to her lips where her breath snagged in her throat. He paused a moment, gauging her reaction, then down to her chin, and to the tower of her neck where he used his pointer still dangling in the air to draw a line to her collar bone. Once he got to her chest, he kept his fingertips squarely in the middle so they passed between her breasts, but by the time he got to her mid stomach, she stopped him before he reached her bellybutton. He hadn’t touched her at all, his hand was a good five inches back from her but somehow this felt as intense, if not more intense than if he’d actually touched her. Her skin was on fire, and begging for his icy touch or breath to cool her.
Both wide eyed, and gasping in pleasure and wonder as he sat up, looking into her eyes which evaded his devouring gaze. “Marielle,” he whispered his hot breath fanning across her cheek and consuming her skin in the icy air.
“Does this… does this have a limit, like- do we just eventually become one person or-”
“Would that be so bad?” Austin asked, still taking in deep, heavy breaths. Aside from her sitting on his lap, he hadn’t touched her, but her skin was still tingling from the feeling of his fingertips drifting down her face, neck, collarbone, and to her stomach. His breaths deepened as he leaned a little closer to her ear, causing her insides to quake. -I want to find out just how much of you I can touch with my mind.
-No, please don’t.
He nodded. “Okay. Too far.”
“We were both curious for a moment there, but let’s not do that again.”
He sighed, wanting to know how far he could take that and feeling like he’d never be able to know. The question would drive him crazy but she asked him to refrain, so he’d refrain. She rolled off him, and smacked into the ground on her back.
They lay on the barely white ground panting white puffs for a moment as they stared up at the sky as it gave them it’s lacey flakes.
Why couldn’t things always be this way? She thought.
-They can. They can be like this forever. Austin whispered.
She folded her hands on her chest. She often forgot how clearly he could hear her thoughts sometimes and wasn’t sure how to handle that in certain moments. “It’s getting really cold,” he said standing and dusting his jeans off with his hands. “Let’s get back inside for coffee and biscotti.”
They went in, ate, laughed with his parents and Rick played raucous music on the piano for a while as everyone sang along. It was clear that the piano was just one of many other things that Rick had instructed Austin in.
Austin switched with Rick and played for a while as well, singing a few Christmas carols that they joined in.
When Marielle and Austin went up to his room, Marielle flopped back onto his bed, then raised herself up on her elbows, eyeing him as he crossed the room to his chair where he sat down to take his shoes off. “So, how many women have you banged on this bed?” she asked bluntly.
He halted to a stop and glared at her wide eyed. “Uh… none on that one,” he replied. “I bought it the last time I was in town because my previous bed was like fifteen years old,” he said with a laugh, and he was casually looking over her body and posture with a hint of desire.
Then he went to the TV, turned it on, and one of the video game consoles and brought a controller over to her with a smile. “Fight me, bruh,” he chuckled.
“K, sis,” she bit back.
And for the better part of the next hour, the two played a death match game. Austin reached over and covered her eyes at one point, as he cheated and beat her and the two laughed. She squealed as he won and stated that he was a cheater. “Nope, you’re just blind.”
“I’m going to get you for that later,” she declared, going to the bathroom with her sweatpants and long-sleeved shirt.
“Promise?” he called after her. -Tell me there will be ice involved.
She leaned on the doorway, brushing her teeth and rolled her eyes at him. He chuckled silently and shook her head at the memory. When she came back out in her sleepwear, he was still sitting on the bed as if expecting something. “I’m tired, move,” she growled at him, playfully.
He pat his thighs. “You could come sit on my lap,” he replied with a flicker of hope.
She rolled her eyes at him, slipped in under his covers, and turned toward the wall, ignoring him. “Tell me a bedtime story?”
He went to his chair and let out a long sigh. “Once upon a time there was a gay hippopotamus.” She laughed. “Who needed a prom dress.”
She yawned and adjusted herself until she was comfortable.
-I want to be holding you. He eventually said.
-I want you to be holding me.
-Should I join you? He had been resting his hand on the armrest, but he lifted a finger and traced an imaginary line down her back. He saw her flinch a little at his unmet touch. She could still feel it. He stopped not wanting to take from her what she didn’t freely give him but the temptation to keep going was strong.
-No, stay there.
He took in a shaky breath. -I want to join you so badly. You look warm.
-Oh hush, you’re not cold.
-I can get cold, Marielle, it just doesn’t hurt me.
-I know. Tell me a story. Help me sleep, and come rescue me when he tries to hurt me.
-Okay, darling. He stood and went into the bathroom to use it, and brush his teeth as well as he thought. “How about I read one instead?” he asked taking a book from the shelf, opening it to a page, and starting to speak in French. It was a book of children’s fairy tales. He’d chosen Sleeping Beauty. Not long after, Marielle was soundly asleep.
Austin watched her for a while, wishing that he was under the covers with her. He wouldn’t try to seduce her, he just wanted to hold her against him and sleep with her there. For a moment, he debated just going and crawling into bed with her. Would she really stop him? He sighed, and turned his gaze to the ceiling. She’d said no. Leave it at that. But he allowed himself the luxury of imagining it; the feel of the bed shifting under his weight, the warmth of the mattress caused by her body, the feel of her as she fit perfectly against him. His fingers as they glided down her arm to her little hand and he laced them together and the way that the tip of his nose would rub into her hair as he kissed the back of her head. -How I love you, Marielle. He whispered.
-I know. She replied. She was so controlled, even in sleep.
Not long after, maybe an hour or two, she clawed at the air. “Austin! Austin!” She shouted, and he was at her side, holding her against him.
“shhhh, shhhh, it was just a dream. He’s not here.”
“Austin,” she sobbed into his chest.
He resettled her, tucking her in again. “Go back to sleep, I’ll help this time,” he explained. She nodded and slowly calmed her breathing with him huddled over her until she slept. He went back to the chair and rested as well, pulling a blanket over himself as he drifted.
When he entered her dream, they were in that familiar spot in the street, and Tundra was looming over them both. He turned to her, frightened and shivering against the ice that had been sent through her body, and he made a decision. He stepped back and watched. “You’re capable,” he explained.
Shaking, she looked down at her hands, turning blue. “I can’t… I can’t do it,” she cried watching the shadow as it lumbered toward them. This thing no longer had Austin’s face, it had become an actual cryptid of some kind in her mind, a shadow with lightning white eyes and a hole for a mouth.
“You can, and you’re going to,” he explained stepping back and away from her.
For a moment, she turned to him begging with her eyes. He shook his head and she jerked her gaze back to the swaying shadow. Trembling, Marielle waited and when Tundra wrapped his arms around her, she’d shoved her hand into his chest, took hold of his heart, and tore it from his body.
He slumped to the ground dead, and shaking, she dropped the still throbbing organ.
She stirred and woke up. He was looking at her from the chair and the darkness of the room was playing off his face in a way that seemed to make it glow a bit. He smiled at her proudly. “You can do it,” he said tenderly.
She sighed and nodded, sitting up and drawing her knees up to her chest. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I feel like I have some of my power back.”
He smirked and looked away. “Maybe like when you gave me the crown.” There was a pause and he narrowed his eyes as he remembered the dream. “He doesn’t look like me anymore.”
“Because he’s not you. He’s a creature and he’s dead.” Quiet enveloped the room and neither of them could decide whether the lack of noise was calming or terrifying. Her eyes skimmed over the bookshelf next to the bed and landed on the red journal. She’d forgotten all about it until this moment. “How have you been dealing with your anxiety? Are you still using the porn?” she asked, casually.
He shook his head. “No, I’m still trying to get away from that. I can’t promise I’ll never do it again, but I know what happens to me when I start consuming it.”
“It consumes you,” she finished.
He nodded. “It’s not good.”
“So, what have you been doing?”
“I write,” he said, with a diminutive smile in her direction.
She gestured with her eyes to the journals. “Is that what these are?”
“I know you want to know.” He sat up away from the back of the chair. “The red one is. The others are from other times in my life, one of them is completely in French.”
“The red one is for your writing?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s it about?” She knew, but she wanted to hear him say it.
“Mostly it’s about two things…” she turned to watch his face as he told her. “My desire for you, and my love for you.”
She shuddered. “You’ve been writing poems about me?”
“Poems… songs…letters… erotic poems,” he said with a smile.
“Oh,” she said trying not to squirm and looking away from his face. He grinned widely knowing what that did to her, feeling it in his own body.
“You can look, Marielle,” he whispered. “They’re all yours, anyways.”
“You want me to read them?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Do, don’t… it’s up to you.” He yawned and stood going to the bathroom, and coming back out a minute later to find her with the journal in her hands, trembling. He leaned on the doorframe and grinned again. “Find something you like, darling?”
The red journal went spilling from her hands and she put a shaky finger to her lips. “Austin…” she breathed overwhelmed, and dizzy with excitement. “Um…” she couldn’t contain the abashed smile working its way over her face.
“Yeah, all of that and more,” he whispered knowing exactly which one she was reading. It was one of the more erotic poems in which he talked about the many ways he’d satisfy her before he ever let himself have a taste. It described her body like a garden, bursting with delectable delights that he sampled as he tended to her. The words were tangled together like creeping, blooming vines; verbose and beautifully crafted unlike anything that she’d ever read. It was deeply sexual, but stunning, like watching the sunset over the water. Despite how graphic it was, it was the most gorgeous sensual encounter she’d ever read.
She buried herself under the blanket, unsure of what to do or how to react to this in one swift movement.
He ran to the bed, and pounced on the lump of Marielle that had disappeared. “Where did you go?” he laughed.
“Uh, I’m not here anymore, leave a message after the beep……………………beep…”
He threw his head back in wild laughter, and reached out, grabbing what he felt as her knee, and tickled her. She jerked, and giggled under his fingertips until he stopped and simply stared at the lump. When she finally pulled the blanket down just enough to reveal her eyes, they were full of embarrassment, wonder, need, and so much more. “I’ve been writing for a long time. They’re not all like that.”
“Will you read me one that’s a little less…”
“Ultra super sexual? Yeah.” He picked up the journal and started to leaf through the pages. Finally, he paused on one, and swallowed as he glanced it over. “Okay,” he whispered. He lifted it a little and started to read-
“There’s a place I go to think about us.
And when I do, it reminds me
that I am nothing more than dust
and you are everything that binds me.
Despite the will inside my veins
the strength that mars and kills,
you could tie me down, my queen
and I’d do your very will.
My love, there is no hope for me
I want to be undone.
I want to find my very completion
inside of your arms, and love.
Chain me up inside your heart
I want to be unmade,
and find myself reassembled
in the memories that we’ve made
And if that means you tame me
then I desperately want to be tamed.
Because if a king is tamed by his queen
then his freedom is reclaimed.
And every time I leave this place-
I burn it to the ground, each time.
Because I remind myself over and over
that you were never mine…” He finished and met eyes with her through his dark hair.
Marielle bit her lip as she twisted her fingers together, looking away from his patient gaze. “You want me to tie you up?”
“That’s what you took out of that?”
She giggled and buried herself again at which point he came after her again and poked at her, watching the lump wiggle and writhe. “I’m sorry, okay?” She guffawed from under the blanket.
He shrugged, “I mean, I do,” he deadpanned, finding her ankle, and yanking her back down from squirming away. She was cackling and twisting and he was simply staring at the jerking lump in adoration as his fingertips dug in. Then he stopped again and he gently peeled the blanket back. She was on her stomach, her cheek pressed to the mattress, looking up at him like a little girl hiding under the covers, her fingers curled under her chin. Her glassy eyes were big and her smile was like little pearls in the darkness and his breath snagged in his chest at the sight of her as he wanted to cry and laugh all at once. “Can we just… stay up all night and laugh?” he asked.
“I’d be thankful for that,” she giggled.
“Want to play some more?” he gestured at the video games.
She sat up. “Don’t cheat this time.”
“I won’t,” he said, his eyes focused and serious on her face. She could see how badly he wanted a kiss, and how much he was restraining himself.
They proceeded to play games together for an hour or so, and then, as Patches joined them, Austin pulled a photo album from the shelves and went through it with her, telling her about his life and various things that had happened. She listened and pet the cat until she got blinky again, and he tucked her in, and went back to his chair, missing the warmth of her body.